The Adventures of Emmett Cullen
by Spidergirl93
Summary: The title pretty much explain it all. Lets just say that Emmett finds duck tape... Rated T just cuz I'm paraniod. My first fan fiction, so don't hurt me. Anyways, READ!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sadly, we do not own twilight.**

**AN: This is what happens when you get bored during sacrament (church). This was written, well came up with, by my buddy Kileigh (vampinja) while someone was giving a talk about people being able to jump on to building and well ya it just went from there.**

**Bella p.o.v**

"Come on Edward, it can't be that bad , its just Emmet, what is the worst he can do?"

"Oh, Bella you have no idea." Edward said rolling his eyes.

"Really Edward you need to go hunting, and I need someone to stay with, since Charlie is fishing this weekend, Emmet can keep me safe." I said convincingly, well trying at least.

"Ok," pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, "If you really want to." He gently kissed me goodbye and leapt out my window.

At the Cullens

Emmet's p.o.v

_Edward really doesn't need to lecture me about this, I can handle it myself sheesh!!_

"… and no…"

_Wow, Edward can be really boring sometimes…_

"EMMET!! Are you listening to me!!"

" Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Ok, she better be in perfect condition when I come back."

"Yeah, yeah I get it… whatever."

"Ok, lets go over the list one more time, Bella needs to breathe don't hug her to death, Don't get her drunk, Don't play hide and seek…"

_Blah blah… I swear that's all I hear when he talks…oooooo shiny, silver DUCK TAPE!!_

"I love you brother but you need to go away!" I said shoving him out the door so the duct tape could be mine, all mine…hehe…this weekend shall be fun.

Edwards p.o.v of the lecture

"Ok Emmett, Bella convinced me to let you watch her this weekend, so there are something's we need to cover some ground rules."

_La, la la la la Elmos world!!_

Emmett is blocking his thoughts from me, that is never good.

"Ok, Bella need to breathe so don't hug her to death, don't get Bella drunk, don't play hide and seek, don't play fetch with the human she is not a dog…

EMMETT!! You listening to me!?" God sometimes I swear he the attention span of a squirrel.

" Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Ok, she better be in perfect condition when I come back."

"Yeah, yeah I get it… whatever."

"Ok, lets go over the list one more time, Bella needs to breathe don't hug her to death, Don't get her drunk, Don't play hide and seek…" He is so not listening to me, maybe I should just stay…

" I love you brother but you need to go away!" He said shoving me out the door, I have a really bad feeling bad feeling about this but I _need _to hunt.

**AN: HAHA CLIFF HANGER, we welcome flames and especially reviews!! This is our first fanfic, and wow I didn't know it was so hard and we would like constructive criticism. We will try to update as soon as we can!!**

**Peace!!**

**Vampinja and Spidergirl93(haha me!)**


	2. Duck Tape

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight, although we do wish we owned Emmett and Edward, but we don't. :(**

**AN: Thanks for all of the reviews we got!! We appreciate it lots and lots!! Haha, and you thought the last chapter, wait till you read this one! Anyways, on with the chapter… (sorry if it is ooc)**

**At Bella's house…**

**Emmett's P.O.V.**

"Beelllaaaa!! Where are you? I'm here!" I yelled going around the house, holding MY duck tape, trying to find Bella.

"I'm up here Emmett, chill." Bella said rudely.

_Gosh, she shouldn't be so mean. Hehe I have duck tape…_

I ran up to Bella's room to find her sitting on her bed reading a book, again. Gosh, doesn't the human have a life? I walked into her room, quickly hiding the duck tape behind my back.

"Heeyy, Bella! Watcha doin?" I said trying to hide my smirk. But I didn't think it was working, because she had fear growing in her eyes.

"Emmett, what are you doing? What do you have behind you back?" Bella said nervously.

I just grinned and said rolling my eyes, " Nothing…"

Bella scooted away from me as far as the bed would allow her, acting as if I was up to something. I'm hurt, why would she think such a thing? I stepped closer, my duck tape still behind my back. She pulled out her cell phone, that Edward insisted on getting her, while starting to dial. Which I assumed to be Edward's. I just rolled my eyes, he wouldn't answer. He turns his phone on silent when hunting...silly human.

"EDWARD!! Answer your phone! You were right, I'm scared. Emmett is going to kill me. Get home now! Edward, get you're a…"

I quickly pulled the phone away from her before she could get any further. We couldn't have Edward ruining my fun, now could we?

I set the phone down on the bed and rolled out my duck tape.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Let me tell ya a little somethin. Silence is golden," I un-rolled a strip of duck tape, "But…duck tape is silver."

I stepped closer to her when she started to run, well tried at least. She tripped.

"Silly human."

I bent down to her, threw her over my shoulder, and ran to my house.

_Hehe, this should be fun…_


	3. Spiderman Emmett

**Disclaimer: We don't own twilight, blah, blah, blah**

**AN: haha we forgot a authors note at the end of last chapter. Funny us. Anyways, on with the lovely chapter…**

**Emmett's P.O.V.**

**Cullen's house**

When we got to my BEA-U-TIFUL house, well it's Carlisle and Esme's, but whatever I don't care. I live here.

I set Bella on the ground, grabbing my duck tape and pulling off a BIG strip.

"Bella we're going to play a game, ok? I've always wanted to be a superhero, it's a dream of mine. Anyways, I always thought that could always do a better job than spiderman. So we are going to find out today. Fun isn't it?" I said excitedly, jumping up and down.

Bella just looked at me like I'd forgotten to take my meds….wait did I? Oh well, it doesn't matter either way. I get to be a SUPERHERO!!

I went up to Bella, very quickly, and wrapped her in duck tape before she could protest, or TRY to leave. Again. Silly human. They never learn.

I went inside, got some rope, and was back out in record time. Haha I love being a vampire. I'm so speedy quick.

I tied Bella up in the rope and….hung her from the roof.

"Bella, this games gonna go. Like dis. Ok so, you are going to be the damsel in distress. Me? Well I'm gonna be spiderman. No, no. Not just spiderman, but SPIDERMAN EMMETT!! Yeah that's it, I like it. Don't you?" I asked turning to Bella raising my eye brows.

"No Emmett, I don't. I WANT TO GET DOWN!! I'm going to tell Edward and you're so…"

"Bella, don't you understand? He's not going to find out. Or else he wouldn't be too happy with me. Not that it wouldn't be the first time, but it still wouldn't be good." I stopped rambling and shuddered at the last time he wasn't too "happy" with me.

"Ok Bella, on with the game. I am going to be trying to get you down. How you ask? Well I am going to run up the side of the house, and save you. I'm sure your wondering how I am going to run up the side of the house, well that's an easy question to answer. I AM SPIDERMAN EMMETT!!"

I started to run up the house and…..fell. If I weren't a vampire, that really would have hurt. Oh well. I tried again. And…..I fell. Again. Dang it!! I fell again.

**AN: Emmett does this a couple hundred more times, but I'm sure you don't want to read, Again. Fell. Again. Fell. A couple hundred times.**

Meanwhile….

Edward's P.O.V.

I was just about done when I got THE message.

It was from Bella…

"EDWARD!! Answer your phone! You were right, I'm scared. Emmett is going to kill me. Get home now! Edward, get you're a…"

She was cut off.

I was going to KILL Emmett. I took off running, as fast as I could go, and headed back to the house.

Emmett's P.O.V.

Dang, this is harder than I thought. How does spiderman make it look so easy?? CUZ IT'S NOT!!

"Emmmmmetttt….please let me down. I promise I won't tell Edward. If you just let me down!!" Bella said. Man was she getting annoying. Just because it's been 3 hours. She needs to be patient, stupid human. I NEED to concentrate.

"Bella, just be patient."

I began trying to run up the house. Again. But failed. Yet again.

Edward's P.O.V.

I got to the my house, finding Emmett running up the side of the house. And falling. Repeatingly. **(AN: yeah I don't think that a word, but it is now.)**

I looked up to see what he was trying to do, and saw Bella. My Bella. Hanging from the roof. Wrapped in…duck tape?? What the heck did Emmett do this time.

I ran up to my room, climbed out my window and grabbed Bella, Emmett obviously not even noticing me. I set Bella down on the couch, took the duck tape off her mouth and she started to yell.

"OW!! That hurt!! Why didn't you answer!! I was HANGING from the roof, while Emmett tried to be spiderman, not well I might add." Bella shouted, very angrily.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't have my phone on. Wait, why was Emmett trying to be spiderman?" I asked, very very confused.

"It's a dream of his." Bella said shrugging. "And my mouth hurts."

"ok come on, lets get you a popsicle." I said grabbing her hand taking her down stairs.

"I'm not five years old ya know." Bella said irritated.

"Do you want the popsicle or not?"

"Yes."

Emmett's P.O.V.

Why couldn't I get up the wall??

_Wait, Bella has been quite. Oh well, maybe she just learned to behave._

I continued to run up the wall when I heard someone laugh behind me. Not just anyone either, but the human, Bella.

"What? How did you get down?? I'm supposed to save you. I mean I am spiderman Emmett!" I said turning around to face Bella.

Bella just shrugged and rolled her eyes, while taking a lick of her popsicle.

"Edward got me down. And gave me a popsicle too, want a lick?" Bella said holding her popsicle out to me. I just shook my head no, wondering how Edward got her down with out me noticing….

"oh yeah, Emmett. Edward want to see you.."

_Oh crap! He found out…_

"EMMETT!!"

_And Edward is mad…_

**AN: haha funny isn't it? Sorry if I didn't make all that much sense….**

**Well that's the end of the story. Haha jk, just the end of that one shot. There's more comin, oh, there's more. Tehe. We'll try to update as soon as possible. Until then, review!! It will make us very very happy. Flames are still welcome. We personally, think they are funny. Lol. Well review!! Hopes you enjoyed it. **

**Peace out homies!!**

**--Taylor (spidergirl93, haha me) and Kileigh (vampinja)**


	4. IMPORTANT!

AN: SORRY

**AN: SORRY!! This is not a chapter :( **

**READ!! IMPORTANT!!**

**Please don't kill me. I know we haven't updated in forever, and sorry. But school out (yay!) and that means more time for us to update. We'll try to update before next week, but if we don't get around to it then we won't be able to update for like 3 weeks. Because we have camp next week, then the week after that I'm going on a vacation with my family. So we'll try our hardest to update. **

**We already have an idea for our next chapter. We were going to do what Edward does to Emmett for revenge. Fun huh? Well we have a few ideas on what to do, but we want your input. So I put up a poll for you guys to vote on what Edward will do to Emmett. So go vote!!**

**We can't update till you do!**

**PM me if you have any ideas for revenge on Emmett!! We need all the help we can get.**

**Again sorry for not updating in forever, we'll update as soon as possible. **

**-Taylor and Kileigh.**

**Adventures **


	5. revenge part 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own twilight blah, blah, blah you know the drill**

**AN: Sorry its taken so long to update both of us have been really busy with school being over and all but anyway on with the story hope you enjoy it!!**

**Where we left off**

"_oh yeah, Emmett. Edward want to see you.."_

_Oh crap! He found out…_

"_EMMETT!!"_

_And Edward is mad…_

**EMMET'S P.O.V.**

Uh-oh I am screwed, I am going to die, I don't want to die, I can't, I just can't leave behind my duct tape they don't deserve that dang it!!

"EMMET GET IN HERE NOW!!" Well here it goes, I am walking to my death. I walked into the front room Edward was standing with his arms crossed at his chest. "Emmet sit." He pointed to the chair.

He began to shake his head. "Ok, Emmet, my brother, give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now, not only did you hang Bella from the rough but you interrupted me during hunting and you know how that makes me feel don't you?" Yes I did and it is a scary sight, never ever bother Edward while he hunts EVER!!

"Edward, I was just having fun and had I it under control really I did there--." he cut me off.

"Under control? Under control, you call Bella, my Bella wrapped in duct tape hanging from the roof with you running up the house then falling repeatingly AN: (HEHE… our made up word.) under control?" His said angrily.

"Well when you put it that way I guess not." I am so screwed.

"Emmet, I am not going to do anything… yet just watch your back, and I will get my revenge, oh I will, you can hold me to that." Oh man I am going to die a slow painful death.

He went up to his room where I assume Bella would be so they could cuddle or do something boring, because Edward really isn't that exciting I really don't understand what Bella sees in Edward when I am so much more cooler with my duct tape and spiderman powers.

Bella's P.O.V

I was eating my third popsicle when Edward walked into the room with a grin on his face.

"Edward, what are you thinking about?" I was a little bit concerned because he had one of those diabolical grins.

"Just how I am going to get revenge on Emmet. Love would you like to help me?" See I told you diabolical grin!! But I wanted revenge just as much as Edward.

"Of course, ok we need a bucket of pink paint, paint brushes, and how good are you at picking locks?" Hehe… this will be fun.

"I like the way you think love." He walked over and kissed me. "I missed you love, and have I ever told you, you are adorable when you are plotting evil plans." Oh yes, this will be fun, Emmet will regret ever messing with Edward and I.

**AN: HAHA… Cliffhanger!! Don't worry this is just part one of Edward's revenge!! Review please!!**


	6. revenge part 2

**Disclaimer: we do not own the amazing book twilight!!**

**AN: This is part two of Edward's Revenge hope you enjoy it!!**

"_Of course, ok we need a bucket of pink paint, paint brushes, and how good are you at picking locks?" Hehe… this will be fun._

"_I like the way you think love." He walked over and kissed me. "I missed you love, and have I ever told you, you are adorable when you are plotting evil plans." _

_Oh yes, this will be fun, Emmet will regret ever messing with Edward and I._

Edward's P.O.V.

I had no idea that Bella could be this evil, I like it.

"So, what is the pink paint for?" I questioned

"You know how much Emmet loves his jeep, well we are going to give it a paint job to make it have a little more flare." Note to self DO NOT PISS OFF BELLA!

I grinned " I love you!" She smiled.

"Of course you do, and love you too."

"Umm… Bella?" I needed to know why she needed me to pick a lock.

"Yes Edward." She said holding up, hot pink and Barbie pink.

"Why do you need me to pick a lock?" She turned around and an evil grin spread across her face.

"You know that safe in Emmet's room?" I shook my head. "Well that's were he keeps his duct tape and you are going to get all his duct tape and burn it!!" Oh my god I love this women more and more.

"Bella, you are evil pure evil, its perfect, when do we began our mission?"

"Tomorrow when Emmet goes hunting with Rose."

**The next day**

**Emmet's P.O.V.**

Well Edward hasn't done anything yet, maybe he forgot-- wait Edward doesn't forget anything, oh man whatever he is doing this is going to suck!!

I better go say goodbye to my duct tape before I leave for my hunting trip, because they hate when I don't say goodbye, they worry about me.

**Edwards P.O.V**

"Ok, Emmet just left, lets begin, what first love? Paint job or duct tape bon fire." She looked up at me. "Paint Job." We both said in unison.

I grabbed the bucket of hot pink paint, and we walked out to the garage and started to paint his jeep. About an hour late the jeep was bright pink, and this once manly jeep, now looks like something Barbie would drive around.

"Edward, we did a good job." She said satisfied

"Now the duct tape." she stopped me.

"No, no, we wait until he gets back and when he comes to the house we will set his duct tape on fire. Do you know when he will back?" Wow, evil genius, she is down right cruel, when she does something she goes above and beyond and I love her for it.

"He will be back in two days, and until then we have the house to ourselves." I grinned.

"We do, don't we.?" She said happily, I swooped her up into my arms and ran up to my room.

**Emmet's P.O.V.**

Yummy, grizzly bear, my favorite and I have been lucky this weekend I found three grizzly's, but I knew I had to get home and honestly I am scared to go home because I have no idea what Edward has in store for me

hopefully he just forgot this whole hanging Bella from the roof. I started to run home as fast as I could.

As approached my house I noticed smoke and something bright pink what the…? As I got closer OH MY GOSH!! MY JEEP!!

"EDWARD!! WHAT DID YOU DO-- 'GASP' … my …my…my duct tape my poor duct tape!!" I didn't have the chance to say goodbye.

"Well, well brother looks like your jeep is pink and your duct tape is gone, and Emmet what is with the multi colored duct tape seriously?" Oh he wants to make jokes does he, ooh I will get back and Bella, sorry you are the only thing that will hit Edward below the belt.

"Edward, this means war!!"

**AN: So how did ya like it? We don't know when we will update, but it will be as soon as possible. Review please!! And you if you guys have any ideas of What Emmet will do let us know if you have any ideas thanks!!**

**-Taylor and Kileigh**


	7. Edog

**Disclaimer: we do not own twilight…**

**AN: Ok, we really don't know how we came up with this, it was kind of random but, we are going to end this :( but we are going to start a new story called 'the adventures of Edward Cullen' yay :)**

Emmett's pov

I can not believe he painted my jeep pink, and burned my duct tape, stupid Edward…

Ok, so this is my revenge, i am going to inject speed into a deer, and have Edward eat it, so he can get high, hehe…

So here I am in the lovely forks forest looking for my victim…. Ooo I found you, I hurried and pounced on the dear, and pulled out the syringe and started injecting the deer with speed, I let it sit for a minute letting the drugs go through the blood system, then I called Edward over.

"Edward, I found you a deer!" Hehe…

"Coming!" I pulled out my video camera ( hey this is great black mail…)

"Here you go Edward a healthy deer." We both looked down at the deer, and it looked high, I wonder why…

"ok? Thanks Emmett you can go now…" I stayed. His teeth bit into the deer's neck, and started sucking.

A few hours later, at the Cullen's House

Bella's pov

I am scared, there is something very, very wrong with Edward. He walked into the house with his pants sagging, gold chains around his neck, a long football jersey, his teeth had tin foil on them and apparently they were his 'grills'.

"Hey babe, you looking fine."

I hesitated before I answered. "Hey Edward?"

"Don't call me Edward, call me E-dog." Oh my…

"Ok? E-dog, how was hunting?"

"Emmett found me a deer fo rizzle, it was hella good . So where are the rest of my peeps?"

"… umm… your 'peeps' are downstairs, hiding…" I mumble to myself.

"Edward" He stopped me. "E-dog."

"Well, E-dog, are you ok?"

"I'm fine boo, you know just chillin, what you wanna do suga?"

"Suga?" Why would Edward be acting like this, its so… so… not him, wait-- he said Emmett found him a deer, ooo that boy is in trouble.

"Excuse me 'E-dog', I have to go kill your brother, you stay here and 'chill' aight?"

"Whateva you want babe."

I hurried up to Emmett room where I found him laughing his head off.

"EMMETT, WHAT DID YOU DO TO EDWARD?"

"Nothing, just got him a little bit high, no big deal and besides don't you like the new Edward? I do he is more relaxed, not so uptight you know."

"A little bit? A little bit high, he thinks he is the next Eminem!"

"What is so wrong with that?"

"I WANT EDWARD TO BE HIS NORMAL, UNEVENTFUL, BORING SELF AND YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS NOW!"

"Ok, ok, I will but there is nothing I can do you just have to wait until the drugs are out of his system, sorry you are just going to have to deal with E-dog."

"Fine, but you do this again Emmett, so help me god, vampire or no vampire I will kill you."

The Next day…

Edward's pov

Ow, my head hurts, and why do I have tin foil on my teeth? What is with the gold chains, and my clothes? What the…?

Bella's pov

I walked into Edward room.

"Hey E-dog?" He raised an eyebrow.

"E-dog? What is with the name?"

I ran over and gave him a hug "You are back to normal yay!"

"Normal, what do you mean, and could please explain what I am wearing?"

I explain, everything to him even when he tried to rap last night, which was very frightening and I don't want to experience that ever again.

"… and it is all Emmett's fault, you were as high as kite." He had a very angry look, you know, one of those death glares

" I am going to kill him…" He flew out of the room, and I heard a bang, crash and an Ouch!

I rushed down stairs, to find Edward and Emmett laughing?

"Ok, some one please fill me in?"

"We decided to call a truce, and this whole thing was stupid." Edward explained.

"… ok, just one thing Edward."

"What."

"No more rapping, ever!"

"Ok… but I want to keep the gold chains." I rolled my eyes this has been a long two weeks…

THE END!

AN: Ok, that is the end to the Adventure's of Emmett, hope you enjoyed it! No worries do not fear, we will be writing the Adventures of Edward, don't know when but we will do it as soon as possible!

Peace out corndogs!!

-taylor and kileigh


	8. Tree Talking

**Disclaimer: We do not own twilight… blah, blah, blah….**

**AN: We are back!!! Finally, after what? A year? Around there somewhere lol. So for this chapter we came up with this sitting outside Spidergirl93 house, and we live in Utah so everyone drops their T's like mountain, and we decided to drop all the T's in every single word, and well it went from there! Enjoy! Characters will be OOC.**

Bella's POV

It was a clear starry night, there was a slight breeze, I was laying on my bed when I heard a noise outside my window. GASP! At first I thought it was Edward, but he is like a ninja, and doesn't make a sound. So I carefully made my way over to my window, and ever so cautiously opened it.

"Emmett? What are you doing?"

"Uh, well… let's see, I needed a new tree to climb, this one looks nice. Good and sturdy." He said patting the tree. Interesting…

"Uh, huh. Why?" Emmett looked dumbstruck by my question. I don't see how it is a difficult question, but then again its Emmett so why am I even bothering?

"Cause… cause. I can read tree's minds. It's a new skill I possessed as of ten minutes ago." Wow.

Suddenly I felt a breeze swift by me, it was Edward and it scared me! "GAH! Where did you come from." See, what did I tell ya, NINJA SKILLS!!

"Well, around 1901, my parents had a little too much to drink… I was a mistake, so depressing" I smacked him, even though it hurt me more then him. Then rolled my eyes at him.

"Look, Emmett, in tree, and can read their 'minds' apparently." I said pointing out my window towards Emmett, who was still patting it and whispering to it. You know I have heard of dog whispers but not tree whispers. I wonder about him sometimes.

"Emmett, what are you doing exactly?" Emmett gasped, his face was perplexed.

"How could that meanie do that to you." He said to the tree.

"Emmett, I think its time you go home. Now." Edward said irritated.

"But, but… the tree, it needs me!! Its going some rough times, and its all your fault Edward!!" I was confused, and I'm sure Edward was also.

"What? Just leave Emmett!!" Emmett pouted.

"Fine… you should be fine tree, I'm here to protect you from the big, bad, scary, tree rapist!!!" Oh, ya I remember that night, Edward and the tree. Forgot about that, maybe it's because I push things out my mind that are overly disturbing.

"Tree rapist? What the hell Emmett, I never." I interrupted Edward.

"Um, hun, you… kinda did."

"What? When? You think I would remember something, like that…"

"Well, you remember when Emmett put speed in the deer? Well, you were high at the time, and technically it wasn't your fault, I guess. Emmett tried to stop you but you bit him…" Emmett appeared right in the middle of us.

"That poor tree never stood a chance against you, it couldn't even run away. How could you Edward!! Why?! That tree will never be the same! You scarred poor little ducky for the rest of her life!! You are just cruel!" Edward stood there motionless, with a blank stare.

"You should apologize to Ducky!! Apologize now! Stupid meanie face, with your cool piano playing skills and your sparklingness!"

"Emmett, it does not have a mind, it's a tree!" Edward exclaimed.

"Its not an 'it', it's a she, and she has feelings!" By this time Emmett was back out on the tree, and Edward followed, as I continued to watch these two argue back and forth.

"Well tree's are plants, and plants have both male and female anatomy's so technically it is an 'it'."

"Fine, I'm leaving, but I am watching you Cullen!"

"Ok, fine with me, bye bye!"

**AN: Yes, we know it's short, but all our chapters are short! Ha, ha. Anyways, don't ask how came about this because you just had to be there to understand anyway. I think its more funny to us, but you might think its funny. (we hope) We will put another chapter with a continuation of The adventures of Emmett Cullen, end this story and begin The adventures of Edward Cullen. We will update when we can! It should be about a week to two weeks, depending on our schedules and the time we have, cause Spidergirl93 is going to Lake Powell, and me, Forever Fallen Angel, I have work, and another story I am also working on. Please review!**

**Peace!**

**-spidergirl93 and Forever fallen angel**


	9. TAMPONS

**Disclaimer: Do not own, blah blah blah….**

**AN: Ok, so after yet another year we decided to update! Woot! So here ya go! Its now the Adventure of, drum roll please, EDWARD CULLEN! WEEEE!**

**Edwards POV**

"Edward! Come here, please." I hurried over to my sweet love, Bella.

"What is it, my love?" She turned towards me, a slight blush set in her cheeks made her simply delectable. She hesitated before answering.

"I need you to get me something from the drug store…" My eyebrow cocked with curiosity, what could it be to make her feel…embarrassed?

"What do you need?" Bella cleared her throat then averted her gaze down towards the floor.

"Uh, er, tampons…" I stood motionless, did I hear correctly? After a moment of awkward silence. "Edward, I need tampons!" She spoke more clearly this time. Without a word I made my way to the drug store to get…tampons. Yay, I thought acidly.

**At the Drug Store**

So many, why is there so many freaking different kinds of feminine products. How do girls make a decision? GAH! This is frustrating. Should I ask someone? Or would that be total humiliation. I guess I have no choice, I need to ask someone. This older women looks like the right person to ask.

"Excuse me, miss, could you be so kind as to help me." The older women gazed up with a crooked smile.

"What do you need, honey?"

"Uh, well, I was sent here to get some uh, things for my girlfriend…" Oh, come on Edward, your losing your cool, its just tampons right? Nothing embarrassing about tampons.

The women looked slightly confused. "What things?" Instead of speaking like a normal person I pointed to the tampons. I could see the light bulb go off in her head.

"Oh, well, what brand does she usually use?" I blinked in response. "Does she use light, regular or heavy?"

"They have weights?"

"Her flow dear, light, regular or heavy." If I held the ability to blush I am more than certain I would be nine shades of red at this point.

"Um, regular, I guess."

"Ok, what brand?"

"There is more than one?" I feel like an idiot right now, considering I forget my little ability to read minds, damn distractions! _This poor boy has no clue what he is doing, I almost feel bad, oh well, this is kind of fun. _Ok, that is just cruel lady, I thought to myself.

"Yes, tampax, always, playtax, and with those there is pearl, sport, is she athletic?" Why is this so complicated. Instead of torturing myself any further I grabbed the light blue one with pearls on it and quickly walked away.

_Ok, no thank you. Sheesh . _I ignored that I continued to the check stand.

Are you freaking kidding me? He works here? Just when I thought this couldn't be more embarrassing, stupid Mike has to work here? GR! Avoiding his gaze I place the…stuff on the counter.

Mike raised a blond eyebrow in my direction, I could here the mental laughter going on in his head. "Wow, we are tad bit whipped." A deep husky voice came from behind and the smell of _dog. _Him too? I can't get a break. FML

"Or, you have decided to let everyone know you truly are a women, when did you have the sex change? Will I be seeing you in a dress and heels anytime soon? Cause I would like to be warned before hand. No offense you'd make an ugly women."

I growled at the werewolf. "Shut up."

"OOOh, clever. Nice come back, leach" Jacob's voice was laced thick with sarcasm.

"Cullen, are you going to pay for the tampons or not? I have customers." I looked behind, and no one was behind the pup. I pulled out a wad of cash and throwing it at Mike I stomped off.

* * *

When I reached my car I realized I forgotten something. Then he casually strode towards me. "Forgot these, blood sucker?" A smirk was plastered on to his face, I narrowed my eyes. "Oh, and the women you talked to earlier was Leah's mom. She loves to gossip." Jacob threw the tampons at me then walked away. I slid into the car and sped all the way back to Bella's.

When I reached her house I went through the window to find her fast asleep but as soon as I walked over to her night stand she woke up. "Oh, Edward your back, you got what I needed?"

I nodded. "Yes, it was…an adventure to say the least." I handed the box to her.

"Thanks but well, this is regular."

"And?"

"I need heavy, you need to go back, hun." My right eye twitched I gripped the box and headed back to that horrific place again.

Damn it!

**AN: WOOT! Poor Edward being sent back to the store after being put through all that? Oh, well. This was fun to actually you know update lol maybe we might update sooner than a year? Maybe not we shall see. Until then peace out**

**-Spidergirl93 and forever fallen angel**


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